This morning, I heard a mother say to her kid many parents have said (I’ve said it to my own kids): Hurry up or I”m going to be late for work.  Chances are, we as parents would say that we value our kids almost more than anything, probably more than work.  At the same time, with those very words, we tend to suggest that work is actually more valuable than our kids.  I’ve wondered why that is (and there are probably several reasons).  But this was my line of thinking:

  • To show up to work late with the excuse “my kids made me late”, while true, seems to suggest that we can’t even manage/control our own kids.
  • If we can’t control our own kids, then how are we supposed to manage/control “bigger” responsibilities i.e. at work (which leads to possible career advancements, feelings of significance and a whole bunch of other identity issues).

Perhaps we feel embarrassed by the fact that our own kids won’t listen to us sometimes, that they actually do speak their own minds.  It’s not to say they’re allowed to go uncontrolled and do whatever they feel like.  But the fact is, parenting (at least from my limited experience) is not all cause-and-effect.  Contrary to some beliefs, it’s not “do A and your kids will automatically become B”.  Only by the grace of God and the willingness of my kids will parenting be successful.  It takes two to dance this tango.  It’s my prayer that my kids will want to continue the father-kid dance with me for years to come.