I’m a person who likes to plan out as much in advance as I can. My calendar has entries into 2014. My task list (all 3 of them) keeps growing. I try to map out what I need to do with as much detail as possible. I’d like to consider as many variables as I can before mapping out a plan.

Right now though, I’m in a situation with great uncertainty that will have long-term implications for our family. (For now, I can’t delve into the details of our situation publicly.) I felt myself going back to the day when Elijah was diagnosed with autism. The day after, I felt such a deep sense of “I have no idea what to do with this”; I cried with my own son (at the age of 2) comforting me.

Through the following weeks, we started to seek different supports, resources and agencies, developing a strategy for Elijah. Gradually, we got him a variety of supports and saw where his prognosis and direction. However, I had to live within that uncertainty, staying in a “holding position” before I could move ahead.

I find myself in that position again, facing uncertainty in our family’s future and not knowing exactly what needs to be in place in the coming months (or years). Over the last few days, I am grateful for the family and friends who have expressed their utmost support. I have also found myself greatly leaning on God in all this. It’s both an anxious and comforting feeling having the Holy Spirit surround us in all this.

Things are still up in the air. Yet I hear God continuing to say to me, “I have your family in my arms. Trust me even though you’re not sure where you’re going.”

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